The Story Behind The Song: “Feel This Way”

“See The World” CD

This song started with the chord walk down of the bridge. I was fiddling around with my guitar and came up with a melody for that part of the song as well as the line about time not being on my side. That’s a pretty pessimistic view for the young guy I was when I wrote this. But, I know it fit how I was feeling at the time.

I have always lived with a very high level of anxiety. The endless “what ifs” and over-thinking of every perceived threat was taking its emotional toll and I was trying anything to relieve the anxiety, including meditation. It was also a time when I was letting go of organized religion and the judgement that I felt growing up gay. This song is about the frustration of the very slow progress I was making.

Even after all these years, I still deal with anxiety but I recognize the “triggers” better and I have better tools to deal with it and minimize its impact. It will always be with me but I no longer feel the despair that inspired this song.


Feel This Way

Feel this way
Feel this way
Feel this way

I was alone
But I never thought I’d feel this way again
When the floorboards underfoot were caving in
And the walls were filled with foam
And the chemicals were gone
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again

Let’s start the show
Now the Sunday Matinee is on again
But the people in the play are paper thin
Is the ending all you know?
Is the Spirit good to go?
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again

And it’s a strange day
Trying to heal from these thoughts gone wrong
And it’s a strange day
Time doesn’t feel likes it’s on my side at all

And so we go
Does a Big Bang mean the race will now begin?
Can a man with tiny footsteps ever win?
Is it safe to be alone?
Will the demons soon be gone?
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again

And it’s a strange day
Trying to heal from these thoughts gone wrong
And it’s a strange day
Time doesn’t feel likes it’s on my side at all

And so we go
Does a Big Bang mean the race will now begin?
Can a man with tiny footsteps ever win?
Is it safe to be alone?
Will the demons soon be gone?
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again
I never thought I’d ever feel this way

Feel this way
Feel this way
Feel this way